Gently exploring the connections between your thoughts, feelings, and actions can be a powerful step towards understanding yourself better. This tool is designed to guide you kindly through that process.
Looking closely at difficult thoughts and feelings takes courage. Please be kind and patient with yourself as you use this tool. Remember, the aim is learning and insight, not self-criticism.
Let's begin whenever you feel ready.
This tool is based on principles from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). A core idea in CBT is that it's often our interpretation (our thoughts) about a situation, rather than the situation itself, that most strongly influences how we feel and what we do.
For example:
By noticing our automatic thoughts (like "They must be upset") and learning to examine them with curiosity, we can often discover more balanced ways of seeing things (like "Maybe they're just busy right now"). This shift in thinking can lead to feeling better and choosing actions that feel more helpful.
This tool offers a structured way to practice this skill, helping you consider different perspectives and plan supportive next steps.
To help us focus, which area of your life does the situation you'd like to explore relate to? Sometimes, choosing an area makes it easier to recall a specific event.
Okay, thinking about the area of , what was the specific situation or event that brought up these thoughts and feelings?
Try describing it just like a camera would see it: Who was involved? What happened? Where? When?
The goal here is simply to state the facts of what occurred, setting the scene before we delve into your thoughts about it.
Bring the situation () back to mind. What thoughts, words, assumptions, or even images popped into your head at that moment?
These first reactions are often quick and automatic. Try to capture them here without judgment – just notice what came up.
When you were experiencing the "Hot Thought" (), what emotions came up? What did you notice physically in your body?
It's perfectly fine to select several options or add your own words.
Considering the situation, your thoughts (), and feelings (), what did you actually do? Or what did you feel an urge to do, even if you didn't act on it?
Think about actions you took, things you wanted to do, or maybe things you avoided doing. Also, were there any ways you tried to cope with the situation or feelings?
Let's gently look at the "Hot Thought" again:
Sometimes our thoughts follow common patterns that might not be fully accurate or helpful. These are sometimes called "Cognitive Distortions" or "Unhelpful Thinking Styles." Do any of the patterns below seem to resonate with your thought?
Identifying these patterns isn't about judging yourself; it's simply about understanding how our thinking habits can shape our feelings. This understanding can open up space for more flexibility.
These are like mental shortcuts our minds often take, especially when emotions are running high. They might contain a small grain of truth but often paint a distorted or incomplete picture. Becoming aware of them helps us question if they're truly accurate.
Here are some common examples:
Does your "Hot Thought" sound a bit like any of these patterns?
Now, let's step back and examine the "Hot Thought" like a curious detective:
The idea here is to look for objective facts and experiences. What actually supports this thought being true? And what contradicts it, or points towards a different, perhaps more balanced, view?
We're aiming for factual information here, rather than just more thoughts or feelings.
Evidence Could Include Things Like:
What Usually Doesn't Count as Evidence Here:
Try to be fair to yourself and consider all the relevant pieces of the puzzle.
Looking back at the evidence you gathered (both for and against), let's try to create a more balanced, realistic, and helpful perspective than the original "Hot Thought" ().
This isn't about forcing yourself to be positive; it's about finding a viewpoint that acknowledges the whole picture more accurately.
A helpful balanced thought often feels:
Take a moment to hold the balanced thought you just crafted in mind:
Focusing on this different perspective, how intense do the initial feelings/sensations () feel right now?
Considering your balanced thought (...) and any shift in your feelings, what might be a helpful next step for you?
What could you do differently now, or perhaps the next time a similar situation comes up? Think about actions that align with your more balanced perspective and feel supportive.
CBT highlights the powerful connection between our thoughts, feelings, AND behaviors. Just as changing our thinking can change how we feel, it can also empower us to act in ways that feel better or more aligned with our values.
Planning a concrete next step, even a small one, helps reinforce the learning from this exercise and makes it more likely you'll apply your new perspective in real life.
Try to focus on actions that are:
Well done for working through this thought record! Taking this time for reflection is a valuable act of self-care. Here's a summary of your exploration:
What stands out to you most from this process? How might holding onto this balanced perspective and your planned next step be helpful moving forward?
Optional Reflection: Sometimes, our "Hot Thoughts" connect to deeper, recurring beliefs we might hold about ourselves, others, or the world (like "I must be perfect," "I'm not truly good enough," or "The world feels unsafe"). Gently noticing these underlying patterns can be part of ongoing growth, but there's no pressure to delve into this now.
Remember, this is a skill, and like any skill, it gets stronger with practice. Be proud of the effort you've put in!